O BAMA

Some questions in life simply refuse to go away; they simply keep lingering in your mind, playing with your sub conscious, toying with your intelligence prompting for an answer. Whether the answer is right is immaterial, it’s just that it keeps your conscious in peace with yourself and helps to sleep at night. Below is one such question for which my hideous brain took whole of 1 and half month to figure out there by allowing me to be in peace with myself finally!.

Y did big daddy of the world visit India when he simply could have sat in his beloved country and sent chills down the spine in India (by simply talking about ban on out-sourcing). As we all know the whole of engineering students manufactured year by year in engineering colleges directly depend on outsourcing, thereby allowing country's future to be dictated by big daddy.

So when he had power to play with India's future why did he come down to India? Why did he seem so desperate to have good relationship with our country? Why did big daddy's wife have to dance with small children to pathetic bollywood music? Usually when I’m faced these type of monster of an question I turn to engineer’s best friend(Google.com),but then there are some question's which even the mighty Google cannot answer for e.g. why did God take exactly 7 days to create the world? Why did he create world first then the light? Why won't Wenger sign a good goalie? Why do Liverpool fans dream of winning premier league one day?

When the god fails to answer people usually turn to devil or may be vice-versa (I’m not here to instigate a religious debate), so I turned to media. Every channel was obamafied, they dissected both Obama and his life and feasted on it, to an extent that if terrorists wanted to know plans of big daddy, they could switch on to any of the channel and there it was.

U have to be very careful about media, they are very persuasive. They are very good at making you believe whatever they are telecasting is the absolute truth. For few days they had me believed that big daddy had come because it was practically impossible to ban out sourcing, That was until I met the man who was real reason behind Obama’s visit to our country and I am very happy to reveal that he is one of our friend.

When I had been to my home town I got info that the Mr. Kommu has shifted his base to Mumbai. Adding to that Mr. Raja was embarking on a journey to Mumbai to attend a movie making competition, so I decided to meet them. Little did I know that this meeting would answer that monster of a question.

I called up Mr. Kommu and Mr. Raja and found out that later busy in making movie. So I decided to meet Kommu at his place. I met him at local railway station; he invited me to see his place which I gleefully accepted. We went over to his place, started talking about things which made sense and things which never made any sense. I had heard people saying that Kommu's database was huge, so decided to browse through his database and hoped to stumble on to some answer which would put my conscious in peace with myself. So I let the monster to fill empty space in room rather than my head (I have got little space in there :) ). He laughed at that monster; laughter had sarcasm written all over it. Sarcasm as it appeared was fueled by the confidence that he knew what exactly the answer was, it was the same confidence that oozes out of Thuka if you ask him how to prepare bomb or if u ask Napster do u know about android or if u ask Mata about a p**n website or ask Sathu about Sanskrit or if u ask Thatha about anything.

He removed a gadget from his pocket, the gadget which distinguishes him from large crowd. It’s like gadget used by batman to save Gotham city. Iron shield on iron man, he thrives on it just like we thrive on air, it was his cell equipped with GPRS. We all know light travels 299 792 458 m / s but we never experience it, the closest I have come to exercising anything in that range is to see how Mr. Kommu goes about operating his mobile. With his lightning quick fingers he opened browser and typed something which looked familiar. If only GPRS was any way near Kommu's speed I wouldn't have been able to catch a glimpse. He had typed facebook.com.

He asked me "Do u know worth of this?"

Me "nope"

H:"25 Billion $"

H:"Do u know how many users in India use this?"

M:"nope"

H:"Do u at least know what this is?" I could hear frustration creeping out in his voice

M:"Yup" that was offensive I thought

H:"so any idea how something available for free is worth that much?"

M:"Hmmm……….. No" don't try to create another monster in my mind, its small and I don’t have much space left.

H:"it’s like people who place their ads on facebook have to pay the owners of the site, and also links and such other stuff bring huge revenue"

M:"I m getting it now...but then what has it got to do with big daddy's India visit?"

H: with a wicked smile “I’ m getting there...have you ever seen my profile?"

M:"No “suddenly it was like viva after lab practical’s for which my answers would always be no. Dint really matter what the question was

H:"Facebook has list of premium users for whom they pay to use their service"

M:"Wow Jaw dropping" Literally. You use something for free adding to that you get paid to use that, How cool is that?

H:"They pay them because they have huge number of fan following. there are people out there who are eagerly waiting for their status update .there are people waiting to comment on links ,videos or whatever crap shared by them. If someone comments on any of this crap facebook gets payed for it, and mind u they get paid handsomely. So what it means is that whether they like it or not, they depend on these premium users for their revenue. So if these premium users stop using facebook there revenue will automatically drop."

M:"Continue please…"

H:" As the revenues directly depend on these premium users, there is a chance of facebook being heavily dependent one particular user. If that user threatens to pull out of facebook it causes turmoil."

M:"You are getting somewhere with this right?" frustrated that not able to get anything.

H:"As you know facebook is based in America and its a 25 billion$ enterprise. It’s natural for a country’s spearhead to look nervous when his empire is threatened by an outsider? Isn’t it"

M:"So u are saying that some from India features in that premium list, and his threatening to pull out of facebook bought big daddy to India" still confused!!

H:"Exactly “he was relieved that finally I got something

M:"and who is this person?"

H:"Me"

I know my ears are bit deaf (gift of listening to metal) but then even they wouldn’t be able to fool me into hearing some name as me. Dead silence followed; suddenly everything made sense starting from big daddy's arrival to Kommu's sarcastic laugh. Kommu's denial to use facebook had bought world's most powerful leader crawling to India and if I may add with his tails between his legs.

M:"when they were paying you to use facebook y did u threaten to pull out?"

H:"Obama threatened to ban outsourcing, thereby putting youth's future in jeopardy. I knew the only way I could bring Obama to his sense was by this. It’s tit for tat. "

There it was the monster beaten to death. I felt like Buddha under a bhodi tree.